


Nooo don't pretend to be my boyfriend in front of my mom and twin brother you're so sexy haha

by cyberdumb



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders (mention) - Freeform, College AU, Fake Dating, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Human AU, Implied long term mutual pining (i guess), M/M, Morality | Patton Sanders (mention) - Freeform, Mutual Pining, Swearing, Unsympathetic Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, and they were roommates (oh my god they were roommates), no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:08:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24902086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cyberdumb/pseuds/cyberdumb
Summary: Remus and Logan have been living in the same dorm room for three years, when Remus suddenly walks into their room with a simple sentence: “Hey Lo, guess who just fucked up?”or alternatively the one where they've been pining on each other for a really long time and they're fucking stupid
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, PAST Logic | Logan Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders
Comments: 24
Kudos: 277





	Nooo don't pretend to be my boyfriend in front of my mom and twin brother you're so sexy haha

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fan fiction in nearly a year,, and i didn't even beta, honestly i barely read it twice after writing it so don't expect any masterpieces

“Hey Lo, guess who just fucked up?”

Logan simply sighed as the tall figure of his roommate walked into their dorm. He was so used to those words being pronounced by Remus’ voice that he was already mentally preparing to put out whatever fire the older friend had started.

“What did you do now?” Logan asked, lifting his head from his laptop to look at Remus, who had sat - or more appropriately, flopped - down on his chair. His left arm resting on his desk, looking back at the other.

“Okay so my family, right?”

“Generic response, but alright”

Remus’ expression shifted into annoyance, “I’m getting to it, shut up. So, my family, we have this dinner reunion thing every year. And every year my asshole twin always makes fun of me because he always brings his stupid boyfriend and I don’t,” Remus had started gesticulating mid-sentence.

“Okay,” Logan had already figured out where he was going by that sentence alone, but he decided to not say anything and let the friend continue.

“And today he called me to tell me that they’re having one next week, and he told me that obviously his boyfriend will be there, and that he was-” he started talking in what Logan figured was an impression of his brother, “‘so sad that I wasn’t bringing anyone this year either.’ So obviously I did the stupid thing-”

“Obviously-”

“And I got mad and I told him that I actually had someone to bring.”

“And-”

“And,” Remus looked desperately at the other, “I don’t”

They both sat in silence for a couple of seconds, Logan looked at his friend, who genuinely seemed worried to him for the first time in the 3 years they had shared that room.

“Why don’t you just ask someone to pretend to be your date?”

Remus glared at the other as if the answer to that was the most evident thing in the world. “Logan, honestly, who do you think would go out of their way to pretend to date me, like seriously?”

Logan had to bite his tongue or he would’ve said something stupid.

“I mean,” Remus continued, “Patton would definitely fuck it up, and I’m not even gonna ask Virgil. Everyone else I know would just say no.”

Logan didn’t want to admit it, but Remus did have a point, “why don’t you just say the truth?”

“What? And let Roman make fun of me even more? I can’t do that, Lo, I’m tired of always being the faulty twin that no one cares about,” Logan realized that it was not just his brother, but something must’ve happened to teenage Remus that made him that insecure in regards to dating.

He had never been good at comforting his friends, he had always had troubles with the whole “empathy” thing, “Remus, don’t say that, it’s not true”

Remus stared at him for a bunch of seconds before standing up abruptly, to which Logan flinched. “Would you be my date?”

He stared back, just for a moment, before lowering his head back on his laptop, “I’m not good at that stuff, Rem”

“You don’t have to be good, you just have to be believable enough!”

“I don’t know, all the attention will be on us, and-”

“Please, Logan.” Remus’ tone was suddenly serious. “Do it for me, you’re my best friend”

Logan had never been anyone’s best friend.

When Logan had walked for the first time into the dorm room that they shared, he saw Remus exactly like this, flopped down on that same chair. The room was messy, all of Remus’ stuff was already on the floor, and Logan made a mental note to ask to be moved the next day.

Except that in the hours that followed that first moment, Remus turned out to be far more interesting than Logan could’ve ever imagined. He was an extremely curious person, he was honest and impulsive and he liked reading obscure books, which Logan happily borrowed from him.

Remus liked being funny, especially if it resulted in Logan laughing, which was something hard to achieve. He liked the attention being brought on himself and he liked studying at the weirdest hours of the night. “I just like it better when it’s dark out”, he said.

Logan learned that Remus’ favorite film was Evil Dead 2, and, after a long conversation, he was coerced into watching it with him. At first he thought it was stupid how unrealistically bloody and gratutiously violent it was, but soon he found interesting how every time that a ridiculous amount of blood started spilling out of one of the demons on screen, Remus laughed at it. And so did Logan.

He has his quirks, sure, but talking to him felt like talking to someone you’d known your entire life, and by the end of the first semester Logan had already started growing fond of him.

“Sure, I’ll do it” were the magical words that made Remus’ face light up immediately.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I mean, it’s only one night, right?”

Remus’ smile somehow widened, his eyes were practically beaming with joy. He grabbed Logan’s laptop to set it aside and, before Logan could say anything, Remus leaned down and hugged him, falling over him and on the bed.

“Rem, what are you-” Logan tried saying, laying down on the bed, with Remus hugged to him.

“Can’t I hug you now? You really are-”

“You could’ve just asked me to stand up and it would’ve been more comfortable”

“Mh, too late”

They laid there for approximately 0.5 seconds before Logan talked, “this is sweet, but I need to finish my anatomy paper”

Remus groaned as he got up, he turned around to his desk and picked up a textbook. Logan also got up to get his laptop back and then fell back onto the bed.

Two days later Logan noticed that, for the first time in his life, he had missed a detail.

“We should practice”, he stated, walking in the room. Remus’s eyes went up to him from the book on taxidermy he was reading. For pleasure, not for studying.

“What?”

“On how to be a couple, or we’ll seem extremely suspicious if we don’t even know how to act as a couple. And we also need the story of how we met”

Remus sighed, he woke up particularly tired that morning and despite all the energy drinks he had had, he still felt weird. “I mean we can just say the truth, that we met as roommates,” (“Seems reasonable”, Logan said) “and if you wanted to fuck, you could’ve just told-”

“You know that I mean holding hands and stuff like that”

Remus put away his book, folding a corner of the page he was on, got up and walked closer to Logan, “you’re right,” he looked down at Logan’s hand, “no homo,” he snorted a laugh and then grabbed it.

Logan laughed back and looked up at Remus, who was instead observing their hands. His white strand of hair had fallen on his forehead. Logan had always thought that it was a very peculiar characteristic, and when he had asked about it, only a few days after they’d met, Remus had replied “dunno, something with genetics or whatever”.

“Okay, so, when was our first date?” Logan asked.

Remus looked up and left his hand, Logan immediately took a step back and put both of his hands behind his back. Remus bit his tongue before responding, “uhm, how about last September? It would seem suspicious if I said that we’ve been dating for longer than that.”

“Sounds good, and where did we go?”

“We went to Cheesecake Factory!”

“To Ch-” a beat. “Does that seem like a good idea for a first date to you?”

“I mean, it’s Cheesecake Factory, it’s always a good idea”

“For a date? It’s not… romantic”

“Cheesecake Factory is an extremely romantic place, Logan!” by Remus’ tone, Logan would assume he was actually offended, if he hadn’t known him for that long, “I almost don’t recognize you today”

“You know what,” Logan sighed, “you’re right, we went to Cheesecake Factory”

“We should actually go to Cheesecake Factory, like next week or something, I really like it,” Remus suggested.

“Ugh, I mean, whatever, yes, I’ll let Patton and Virgil know that we’re going to Cheesecake Factory next week” Logan said in a nearly exasperated tone.

“No, I mean j-”

Logan interrupted him. “Now, what other types of questions do you think your family could potentially ask us?”

Remus stepped back and then fell onto his bed, “I don’t know, man, I never really pay attention to them anyways”

“Just say you want to be caught lying and go, then.”

“No need to be condescending now”

“I’m just saying,” Logan sighed, “don’t you think it’s gonna be suspicious if you just show up with your boyfriend without even talking about it beforehand? They’re gonna ask questions. Especially Roman.”

Remus glared at Logan for a second. It was weird hearing him refer to himself as his boyfriend. “I have an idea.”

“Okay?”

He took out his phone, he pulled Logan closer to himself with his free hand while he opened his front camera with the other. “Now smile,” he told Logan, who caught on what he wanted to do and decided to comply, smiling softly and leaning his head on Remus’ shoulder, who then looked at the picture they had just taken and smiled “it’s great! I’m gonna send it to Roman to make him jealous”

Logan fell back onto his bed and looked up at Remus, who looked back at him. “What?”

“You done studying for today?” the taller one asked.

“Uhm, yeah, why?”

“I’m bored, I wanna go out”

“Okay, what do you suggest we should do?”

“Why don’t we go skating around the city, like we used to do last year?”

“Mh. We haven’t done that in a long time. You’re gonna go out with your piece of shit board?”

Remus chuckled at the accurate description, “you gonna go out with your ugly ass board?”

Logan smiled and nodded slightly. “Fair enough,” Logan stood up and grabbed his backpack first, “the usual route?” he said as he bent down to grab his longboard from under his bed. When he got back up, Remus already had his longboard in his hands.

“Yep”

The day before the dinner, Logan asked “how should I dress? How should I act?”

“Normal”

“Normal?”

“Just be yourself and you should be okay”

Logan wasn’t really expecting that as an answer.

“Just… myself?”

“Yeah, my mom will adore you, don’t worry, you’re charismatic, and you’re polite, everyone loves you,” Remus said distractedly while attempting to tidy up his corner of the room, he had no idea that Logan, standing on the opposite side, right by the door, could feel his cheeks blushing.

_ That _ was a first.

That night, before falling asleep, Logan took a glance at Remus, sleeping deeply on the bed opposite of the room. He used to do that a lot, sometimes when he couldn’t sleep he’d just observe Remus’ features and the way his chest raised while breathing. It made him weirdly calm.

In the silence of the room, he could almost hear the beating of Remus’ heart. It synced perfectly with his own.

The day of the dinner, Logan was worried, as usual. He expected everything to go wrong. As usual.

They drove up to New York, where Remus’ mother lived.

“Hey, it’s gonna be alright, we just have to pretend to be dating for a few hours. We already know each other pretty well, we’re gonna be fine”, Remus used his uncharacteristically calm and reassuring voice, Logan had heard that voice only twice before.

The first time was when they were walking back to their dorm from class and they saw a stray cat on the street. Logan was expecting everything but Remus pulling out cat treats from his backpack and giving some to the starving kitty, all while reassuring it.

The second time was, instead, directed at him. Right after an important exam, which he had worked day and night for, and failed. He had let emotions take over. Remus sat down on his bed, while he was laying down, quietly crying in his pillow. And Remus just talked to him for hours about whatever went through his mind. All with that reassuring voice.

“If you say so”

Remus rang the doorbell, stepped back and waited for the door to open, hopefully to his mother smiling widely, as always.

Instead, what he got, was-

“Janus?” Logan exclaimed, surprised. He looked like he had just seen a ghost.

Remus looked back and forth from Logan to the guy standing on the doorframe in front of them - Janus.

Janus was not extremely tall, but he compensated for his lack of height with handsomeness. Remus considered trying to hit on him later that evening for a brief second. But Janus’ piercing eyes were staring at Logan, and Logan only.

“Logan? What a pleasant surprise”

“You know him?”

“Hey what’s- oh?” Roman emerged from behind Janus and observed the scene, catching on pretty quickly on what was happening.

“What are you doing here?” Logan asked.

“I’m here to meet my boyfriend’s family. What are you doing here?”

“Same thing as you”

Remus looked up at Roman, who glared back at him. Janus was still staring at Logan and vice versa. It was a staring contest, and social awkwardness was winning.

“Is it Rem? Ro, is it your brother?” Mrs. Prince’s voice seemed like a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean for Remus, “Oh! And there’s his boyfriend, let them in, Ro-Ro!”, Logan still had to get used to that.

Roman gently put his hands at the sides of Janus’ shoulders and moved him out of the way, as the shorter man was too confused to understand what Mrs. Prince was saying.

Logan gave a nervous look to Remus before walking in, followed by his “date”.

“You must be Logan! It’s so nice meeting you” she greeted him, Logan’s head was in a different universe at that point and he only knew that she had said something because he had kind of seen her lips moving.

“Uhm-” he hesitated for a bit, before feeling his hand being grabbed by what he recognized as Remus’ familiar hand.

“Yep, the one and only” Remus laughed it off, but Logan could tell he was nervous too because of the tension that had just been created. He pulled Logan close to himself.

“You seem like a really sweet guy, I can’t wait to get to know you better at the dinner table” and just like that she disappeared, neither of the two young men cared to see where she had gone.

Remus turned back and noticed Roman and Janus still by the door, which was now closed behind them. Janus was telling Roman something. “We need to talk,” Remus said while turning his attention back to Logan.

“I guess we d-” he was already being pulled through the hallway, until Remus opened a door and pushed both of them into a small bathroom.

“Do you know that guy?”

“That’s… Janus, we knew each other in high school”

“Knew?”

“Okay, we were close,”

“How close?”

“We dated,”

Remus stayed quiet, looking down at Logan.

“...we dated for about a year”

The other one still didn’t say anything.

“Do I need to tell you every single thing we did, or…?”

“You dated him? Like… in the romantic kinda way?” he seemed surprised, not the reaction Logan was expecting.

“Yes, why?”

“Wait. So you like guys?”

“Ro-Ro, why don’t you come here and help me in the kitchen, sweetheart?”, they heard the muffled voice of Roman and Remus’ mother from the other end of the hallway.

Logan didn’t expect that to be where the conversation was going, “I mean, yeah?”

Remus stood quiet for a moment, “huh,”

“I just never told you because it didn’t seem… relevant?”

“No no, you don’t have to explain yourself. It’s just that I thought… nevermind.” Remus physically scrolled that idea out of his mind. Logan made a mental note of that. “We should get back”

“Do you think I should talk to him?”

“I don’t know, honestly. It’s your call,” Remus only then realized how uncomfortable Janus had made Logan, “did… did something bad happen between you two?”

Logan sighed, thinking about how to explain everything to him, without actually explaining every single thing, “we didn’t really fit, i guess. We were just 16 and it took us too long to realize that we were wasting time with each other, just because it gave us security”

“And, do you still have feelings for him?”

“I’m pretty much over it,”

Remus put his hand over Logan’s shoulder and tried comforting him, “ready to go out? Or else they’ll start thinking we’re making out” he said with a laugh.

“I mean, it would make our relationship more believable,” they both laughed and Remus patted Logan’s shoulder, “c’mon, let’s get out of here.”

Janus turned his head to look at them as they were walking out. Logan wished he had stayed inside the bathroom a little longer.

“Well, dinner is almost ready,” Mrs Prince walked once again out of the kitchen, she turned her head to Logan, “why don’t you tell me a little bit about yourself? Where are you from?”

Logan hesitated, “I’m… I grew up in Miami, but I moved to Massachusetts for college”

“That’s so interesting, because Janus,” and she briefly turned her head towards him, “also grew up in Florida. You too Miami, right?”

Janus nodded quietly, with a polite smile. The movement stretched the scar on the left side of his face.

“Do you guys know each other?” she asked.

Logan examined the scar.

“We went to the same high school, I believe,” Janus replied, “we never really talked though”

He had always been better than Logan at lying.

“Yeah, we didn’t really know each other.” Logan was the only person in the world that knew how Janus got that scar.

Remus had never gone such a long time without saying a single word, he simply held Logan’s hand, happy that the simple gesture could bring comfort to his friend.

A ding came from the kitchen, followed by a “Mom, I think it’s done.”

Soon all five of them were sitting at the table, eating.

“And what have you done to your mouth now?” Mrs. Prince suddenly asked, glaring at Remus, fork in front of his lips and mouth half open to, you know, eat.

Logan took a moment to understand what she was talking about, and he had to follow her gaze right into Remus' mouth to realize that she was talking about his tongue piercing.

“It’s just a piercing ma’, I’ve got tons of them” he replied right after taking a bite.

“Can you even eat with that?” Roman asked.

Remus didn’t even say anything and just pointed at his mouth as if to say “clearly, yes”

Roman continued, “and it doesn’t bother you?” The twin’s question was now directed at Logan.

Why was he asking him that qu- Oh, right. They were dating. “I mean, not really?”

“You don’t seem so sure, Logan,” Roman jokingly said.

“Actually, Logan told me earlier that he thinks it’s really fucking hot, so,” the taller twin quickly replied.

“Language”

“Sorry, ma’”

The silence that fell immediately after was indescribably uncomfortable for Logan, and for everyone, really.

Mrs. Prince attempted multiple times to start a conversation during the rest of the meal, but it somehow always ended with Roman or Remus making a snarky remark at each other. She must have a lot of patience, Logan thought. He couldn’t imagine raising the twins by yourself without also being the most patient person in the world. He understood quickly why Remus didn’t want to come to this dinner.

Janus stayed pretty much quiet for the rest of the dinner. He had never been the type to talk too much, even when he was a teen.

“So how did you two meet?” Janus finally asked when Mrs. Prince got up to get the dessert.

“We’ve been living in the same dorm since freshman year” Logan responded, “but it took as a while to go beyond friendship,” too many details, chill man.

“Oh, so he’s the nerdy hot roommate you’ve been telling me about all these years” Roman said to his brother.

Logan’s jaw was figuratively on the floor.

“Hot roommate?”

He noticed how Remus was barely holding in the sudden embarrassment.

“Yeah, he’s basically had a crush on you ever since you two met, he wouldn’t stop talking about you and about how hot you are, it was unnerving”

Logan didn’t even know what to say. He wanted to play it off as being a cute thing, but he didn’t want to make Remus more uncomfortable than he already clearly was. He couldn’t say anything, he felt like whatever he said would have either hurt Remus or blow their cover. He turned his eyes to Remus, trying to give him a comforting smile, then he grabbed his hand under the table and caressed his thumb, and suddenly he knew what to say.

“Well, I also found him interesting ever since the first moment I saw him, so I guess we’re even,”

Both of their hearts were pounding in their chests.

Did they just confess their feelings for each other in the middle of a normal conversation with other people?

“I’m… going to help mom cut the cake she baked” and just like that Remus was up and out of the dining room.

Logan’s hand was now empty and Janus and Roman were glaring at him.

“Of all the people you could’ve been dating, why my brother? I mean, you could honestly do better” Roman commented once he was sure to be out of his brother’s earshot.

Logan’s heart was still pounding so hard it was deafening.

“I just think… I mean… Yeah, he has his flaws, but he’s a good person at heart. That’s all. No need to be condescending.”

“A good person? My brother? Okay, tell me another joke” Roman laughed, Janus put a hand on his shoulder and whispered something along the lines of “don’t cross the line, Ro”

Logan was already tired of that conversation. “Look, if you don’t care about him, that’s your problem. I do. Honestly, at first I thought he was weird too, but when I got to know him better I realized that he’s fun to hang out with, he truly cares about others, he’s well-intentioned and deeply passionate. If you don’t see that, then you don’t know him.”

Roman didn’t have the guts to reply to that. Janus simply chuckled, that’s exactly how he had expected Logan to respond, and he was glad he was right. Logan looked up to see Remus on the doorframe, he had heard everything he just said.

They ate the cake, and that went alright. Then they played some board games, and the night seemed to finally take a pleasant route. They were having fun, and Logan and Remus almost forgot what had happened during dinner.

Suddenly pretending to be a couple came so easy for both of them. Not that it had ever been hard to begin with, but it was just easier at that point. They held hands here and there to make it more believable, but overall they managed to pretend that they knew each other better than anyone else. Maybe because they actually did.

But then they had to get back to their dorms.

Janus and Roman would’ve stayed there for the night, and then catch the first flight to California the next day.

Remus and Logan instead had a long drive that awaited them to get back to their campus. They said goodbye, Remus hugged Mrs. Prince, they walked out of the door and just like that the door was closed and they were now alone again.

The taller one started “so, Log-” but he was abruptly interrupted by a hand grabbing his shirt and pulling him down. Suddenly something crashed on his lips, and that something just so happened to be Logan’s lips.

Logan’s left hand found its place behind Remus’ head, who grabbed the sides of the other’s face and leaned into the kiss. There were no figurative fireworks, but they both had this feeling of sweetness and freedom hit their hearts.

As both of them pulled back, they stared into each other’s eyes. And they both went in for a second one.

They walked to Remus’ car holding hands, they didn’t need to say anything in that moment, they both knew that they could sustain the silence for a little longer. They sat down on their seats, and they started sweetly kissing each other again.

Remus’ lips were soft, just as Logan expected them to be. And, to be honest, the tongue piercing actually was hot.

“Okay, we can talk now,” Logan said while pulling back, smiling.

Remus held the side of the other’s face with one hand and gently caressed his cheek with his thumb.

“You’re really hot, man”

“I’m glad that you could’ve chosen any asset of words to be your official response to our first kiss, and you chose those.”

“That’s my brand, baby” Remus gave him a dopey smile and then turned back to the wheel, thinking about the road that they had to drive through.

“Logan,” a beat. Logan glared from the passenger seat. “Do you wanna fucking go to the Cheesecake Factory with me tomorrow? No one else?”

“Remus, I would fucking love to fucking go to the Cheesecake Factory with you tomorrow, no one else.”

**Author's Note:**

> i'm so sorry y'all
> 
> edit: so... apparently you guys liked it? the sweet comments are making me really really happy, and maybe let me know if you want a prequel on logan and remus' first meeting, or on the relationship between logan and janus


End file.
